When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death...
You come through to the other side changed, whether you want the change or not.
I’ve stared death in the face before, but not like this. Not with my baby. Not with my life.
My heart was broken into a million pieces, and it’s taking time putting it back together again. It will always be the puzzle with some missing pieces.
Three months ago, I was laying on the couch, only getting up to go to the doctors office.
Honestly, if it wasn’t for modern medicine and technology, I maybe wouldn’t be here today...
But I am. And our baby is not.
That’s what I know right now.
To keep living is full of choices. To keep choosing love. To keep choosing life. To keep moving forward. To keep choosing to trust. One step, one breath, one moment at a time.
This weekend we snuck away to the wilderness. We played in the trees, hiked lots of miles, slept under the stars, ate around the campfire.
We foraged for mushrooms, picked wildflowers and walked in the rain.
We felt God’s peace again. Not that it ever left us, but that we made time to slow down enough to let it wash over us.
And in the midst of it all...
I felt hope stirring back up in my heart again.
I hate that this happened to us.
I hate that my belly isn’t growing.
I hate that the nursery is still my office.
I hate that our arms are empty.
But I’m here.
And that means God is not done with our story yet.
If you feel that your Hope has left you, keep fanning the flame. Keep digging in. Keep turning towards Him, even when you don’t feel like it. Keep whispering those Truths over your heart, even when your mind doesn’t agree with it yet.
There is beauty everywhere, just look up.
Your pain and your joy can co exist.
It’s not over yet.
